Is It Time?

About a week ago I had an anxiety attack at school... in the middle of class. I got the attention of my best friend, Caitlyn, and we quickly left the classroom. What made it worse, at least in my eyes, was that we had a guest speaker that day, I felt horrible leaving in the middle of his speech. And unfortunately I'm one of those people that is easily set off when I've already had a rough day so when I got to my next class, English, and we were talking about our personal essays I had another anxiety attack. That day I went home during lunch in tears and the hardest part about that was I didn't really know what I was anxious about.

So a few days ago while I was in the car with my mum she mentioned that she had set up an appointment for me to go see a cranial sacral therapist. I basically responded by saying no way in hell am I going. And I want to know if I'm okay by saying that. I have a few reasons as to why I don't want to go. For those that don't know, just like I didn't at first, craniosacral or cranial-sacral therapy is an alternative therapy in which the practitioner will apply light touches to a your skull, face, spine, and pelvis. Its characterized as a pseudoscience.

I'm uncomfortable with going to someone who treats my mom and brother. I'm not sure why but it just makes me squirm.

I'm uncomfortable going to someone who is "old". For some reason whenever I'm around older people I just feel very judged and I feel like they don't understand me as much as a younger person might.

I don't like the idea of going to someone who isn't really "licensed" and "educated" although cranial sacral therapists are trained in what they do, when I look up what they specialize in it isn't anxiety or panic disorders it's the broad term of stress relief.

I would much rather go to counselor, therapist, or psychologist who has gone to school and can specialize in what my mom thinks I need help with.

I also am very anxious about people touching my face, pelvis, neck, and other such areas. I do go to a massage therapist due to back pain but she is helping me with muscle pain and not trying to "regulate the flow of cerebrospinal fluid" in my brain and spine.

What do you guys think? My appointment is tomorrow but I told my mom that I would not be attending. Is it time to see a psychologist about my anxiety or should I continue to just live my life and see what happens? Don't be afraid to leave a comment down below and thank you so much for reading!

- Kat