My Existential Crisis

Junior year.

I don't even know how to start this. But lets be honest. Junior year of high school has been hell. If people tell you ohh noo it's not that bad, they are lying. Sophomore year, we got projects, and a bit of homework. And I figured that  since I don't have a job, and all I do outside of school is dance that I would be fine this year.

I was wrong.
Very wrong.

The definition of an existential crisis according to Wikipedia is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose, or value. 

This is the entirety of my life right now. I procrastinate more than ever, and I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I procrastinate. I just don't even care anymore. I even went onto 7cupsoftea.com during lunch today and tried explaining to the "listener" what I am going through. They just told me that I should focus on school work because it's important and will need the knowledge in my future.

I just want to lay on my floor with a fuzzy blanket, maybe a fluffy dog too, and sit there. Literally just sit there. I'm so done with all the drama and all the ish that teenagers make up in high school. I know that I sound whiny but it's so true! How many times a day do you find yourself listening to so and so talk about someone's hair or new pants. I just want to scream "NONE OF IT MATTERS ANYWAYS"

I don't even know if I will post this but here is a link to a great video explaining existential crisis' in a bit more detail:
Danisnotonfire - Existential Crisis
Thanks for reading and don't be afraid of leaving a little comment down below.

- Kat

Review: Tanya Burr's Cosmetics

Alright, so I was lucky enough to get my hands on two of Tanya Burr's makeup products. Her lip gloss in I found Nemo and her Galaxy eye palette. I never imagined that my mum would let me order makeup from the UK, she doesn't believe that not all makeup is the same, and I'm surprised that she let me get two products! So onto the review!

The eye palette contains four eye shadows. Snowflake (white shimmer), Moonlight (My favorite! A grey shimmer), Stormy Night (matte purple burgundy), and Starry Night (sparkly but not chunky sparkly black). 

Lets start with the packaging. The lip gloss looks really nice, with gold details and a long square shape I think they look much more expensive than the original small packaging. When you move it in a fancy blogger like way the gold writing seems to glow. The only thing I have to say negatively about the lip gloss is that the wand is quite long and it's a bit wobbly if you don't have a firm hold on it.

The packaging of the eye palette is a bit deceiving as the little ribbon makes me want to pull on it and open it like a drawer. Other than that I think that the mirror is a decent size and the actual eye shadows are a lot bigger than I expected them to be. In comparison to the Stila In the Nude palette in which the shadows are about the size of a nickel the shadows in the Galaxy palette are a bit bigger than a quarter.

I have to admit that I'm not a huge lip gloss fan. If you live in the US and you were once a pre-teen than you probably have tried the lip glosses sold in Bath & Body Works and you would know that the formulas are thick and sticky. Now I know glosses that are sticky stay put longer but I just can't stand it when I walk outside and my hair gets stuck to my lips by just the mention of wind. If I move my hair then the lip gloss is smeared but if I don't move my hair than I just look weird. So when I applied Tanya's lip gloss I was decently surprised. The consistency is amazing; it's smooth but tacky enough that it won't run off of my lips within seconds.

The only shadow I was worried about was Snowflake as every white shadow I have ever tried has been chalky, but its surprisingly smooth. I had major expectations for the grey eye shadow and I wasn't disappointed. The black shadow, when I first saw it, worried me because of how sparkly it was, but again I was pleasantly surprised. Although it's really sparkly it's SO SMOOTH and not chunky at all!

Overall I am so so pleased with my purchase. Here is where I ordered everything:
www.feelunique.com
I also bought Zoella's new lotion so I'm hoping that will come in the mail soon! Thanks for reading and don't be afraid to leave a comment!

- Kat

*Update:
I got Zoella's body lotion about a week ago and am loving it so far! The scent is light and not super overpowering so I can put it on without worrying that I will get a migraine from the smell.

How to Start Looking at Colleges... Junior Year

I'm a junior in high school and lately all anyone has asked me is "Where are you going to college?" "Do you know what you are going to major in yet?" and to be honest I know now less than I did when I was in middle school.

See the thing is in elementary school I was set on being a lawyer and going to Harvard--you guessed it, I watch Legally Blonde a lot--and then in middle school for some random reason I had my heart set on attending the University of New Mexico. But now that I'm in high school, going to a medical school, I sorta know what I want to do but I'm more lost than ever. 

So since it's so important (according to my family and most of my teachers) that I know what college(s) I want to attend I figured I would do something about it. 

1. The first thing I did was look up colleges/universities in the area that I want to live in. Although most financial aid people that come and talk to us at school advise against this I know that in order for my mental health to be in check that I can not be somewhere hot.
2. From there I went onto all of those colleges websites and looked to see if they offered the program that I want to get my bachelors in. For anyone wondering I want to major in Secondary Education and teach English.
3. I then looked up the weather and the town/city in which the college is located. 
4. After that I started looking at actual cost of attendance (COA) and in my document I highlighted the cheapest ones green (15-29 thousand), the middle ones light purple (30-35 thousand), and the most expensive red (36 thousand and up). 
5. The next step that I took was to get a map and pin point the location of all the colleges
6. Then I made a list in what order I would visit the colleges. 

So that is as far as I have gotten but the next step I will take is to figure out when in the summer I want to visit the colleges and then contact them to set up a time and date. Hope this helps some other teens out there that are struggling with what to do about college. Keep in mind that I am a planner and researcher so this type of this is exciting to me. Another thing to note is that if you don't know what you want to study then start with step one and then at step two just see what the college offers for majors and minors. If they offer things that seem intriguing and are interesting to you add it to your list. Another thing that you could add to your list would be what to do in the town/city in which the college is located. For example, since I want to continue doing Irish dance, I looked up if there were any dance schools in the area where I would be living. Hope this helps even if it just gets you thinking about what the future may hold.

- Kat 

Negativity From the Media

Just as I was starting up my laptop I turned on my TV as well. I was quickly going to see if anything interesting was on and then switch to watching Sherlock (I know, I know). The television was turned to Dish Nation. Now I have never even heard of this show before but as of now my only encounter with it was seeing two people fat shaming and ridiculing a certain celebrity.

I don't think it matters who that celebrity was but I just want to say what gives those two people the right to say such rude and disgusting things about anyone! I don't understand! Why can't we say positive things about how this celebrity is helping at risk youth or how they are funding research to cure some infectious disease.

Now, I've gotten into the habit searching whatever topic I want to write about on tumblr and I came across this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHsrUPjkk24 when I searched negativity. Go and watch the video, please! I applaud Casey for being able to really speak his mind! My favorite quote is "Human beings, we come in all different shapes and sizes. We're all beautiful in our own way. Never pick on anyone because of the way they look."

I'm going to end this post by simply saying: don't listen to the haters, don't spread the hate. If you think that someone has an ugly hair cut then KEEP IT TO YOURSELF because that is HATE and no one really needs to hear any of that crap. For those receiving hate know that those people are at a low and they are mad at you for being higher than they are in life. Shake it off and know that you are above their crap.

- Kat

Not being jealous

Do you ever have that one special thing that you don't want anyone else to know about and you want it to be your special little thing forever? For me that was a TV show. I know it sounds stupid, but the show Bones is what inspired me to keep going in life and to really strive for what I want to do the future. And in middle school I had friends who I knew watched the show but we never really discussed it. I could keep it to myself and I could keep all my feelings to myself. Just the way I liked it. Keep in mind I'm a very introverted person so I like keeping things to myself anyways, and when it comes to Bones I can be a bit possessive.

But when I got to high school I soon realized that it would never be the same again. Sounds dramatic but Bones was always my little thing. I think I'm so attached to it because 1) I started watching it at a very young age with my family. We would all sit down after dinner and watch the new episode every week. 2) I feel a bit of a connection to Brennan just because I think that her character really shaped me into who I am today. I have literally watched every episode a bajillion times. I'm not kidding.

One of my friends recently started watching Bones, and that's cool and all but she will call me and rant about how so and so died. I know that she is excited about it and all BUT it's like that one thing that has always been mine that I now have to share. I try to be nice about it and make a conversation but in the back of my head I'm just thinking about how my one and only has been taken away from me. I just want to get it back and have it be my little secret again!

Do you guys have anything like that? Let me know in the comments!

- Kat

Is It Time?

About a week ago I had an anxiety attack at school... in the middle of class. I got the attention of my best friend, Caitlyn, and we quickly left the classroom. What made it worse, at least in my eyes, was that we had a guest speaker that day, I felt horrible leaving in the middle of his speech. And unfortunately I'm one of those people that is easily set off when I've already had a rough day so when I got to my next class, English, and we were talking about our personal essays I had another anxiety attack. That day I went home during lunch in tears and the hardest part about that was I didn't really know what I was anxious about.

So a few days ago while I was in the car with my mum she mentioned that she had set up an appointment for me to go see a cranial sacral therapist. I basically responded by saying no way in hell am I going. And I want to know if I'm okay by saying that. I have a few reasons as to why I don't want to go. For those that don't know, just like I didn't at first, craniosacral or cranial-sacral therapy is an alternative therapy in which the practitioner will apply light touches to a your skull, face, spine, and pelvis. Its characterized as a pseudoscience.

I'm uncomfortable with going to someone who treats my mom and brother. I'm not sure why but it just makes me squirm.

I'm uncomfortable going to someone who is "old". For some reason whenever I'm around older people I just feel very judged and I feel like they don't understand me as much as a younger person might.

I don't like the idea of going to someone who isn't really "licensed" and "educated" although cranial sacral therapists are trained in what they do, when I look up what they specialize in it isn't anxiety or panic disorders it's the broad term of stress relief.

I would much rather go to counselor, therapist, or psychologist who has gone to school and can specialize in what my mom thinks I need help with.

I also am very anxious about people touching my face, pelvis, neck, and other such areas. I do go to a massage therapist due to back pain but she is helping me with muscle pain and not trying to "regulate the flow of cerebrospinal fluid" in my brain and spine.

What do you guys think? My appointment is tomorrow but I told my mom that I would not be attending. Is it time to see a psychologist about my anxiety or should I continue to just live my life and see what happens? Don't be afraid to leave a comment down below and thank you so much for reading!

- Kat

Introduction to Me!

Hello! My name is Katharine and I am going to *hopefully* start writing blog posts regularly on this page. I LOVE beauty, hair, photography, traveling, writing, ect. The normal teenager thing, you know! So in honor of starting a blog (hurray!) I thought I would do a little get to know me tag type post. I will leave my social media down below and lets get to it!I've added some photos just to perk up this post!

1. What is your name?

     Katharine 

2. What is your nickname?

    Kat 

3. When is your birthday/how old are you?

    June 23 and 16

4. Are you left handed or right handed?

    Left

5. Do you play any sports?

    Irish dance, if you count that as a sport!

6. What is your favorite passer of time?

     Watching Netflix...

7. Favorite weather?

    RAIN RAIN AND MORE RAIN!

8. What do you want to do in the future?

     Forensic anthropology OR teaching English (preferably as a second language in other countries) 

9. Introverted or extroverted?

    Introverted all the way

10. One random fact...

       I actually used to have a YouTube channel but once I started high school I couldn't find the time to film, edit, and upload as much as I wanted to. 

Tumblr: 

http://d0nt-l3ave.tumblr.com/

http://my0therlittleblog.tumblr.com/

Instagram: 

the_k00l_kat